I used to tell people it was “just anxiety.” I said it so often it became a reflex. If I snapped at someone? “Sorry, I’m anxious.” If I disappeared for days? “My anxiety’s just bad right now.” If I took two more pills than prescribed? “I’m managing it.”
But I wasn’t managing anything.
I was drowning. Quietly. Competently. Until I wasn’t.
This is what happened when I stopped lying—to myself, to everyone else—and got real help through a dual diagnosis treatment program in Hilliard, Ohio.
The Lie That Anxiety Was the Only Problem
My anxiety didn’t start with the pills. It started way before—childhood panic, sweaty palms in school, the kind of worry that made my stomach hurt every day.
So when a doctor handed me a prescription for Xanax, it felt like rescue. Like finally, someone saw me flailing and threw me a rope.
I followed the directions. At first.
But it didn’t take long for “as needed” to become “every night.” Then “every afternoon.” Then “whenever I felt anything at all.”
I wasn’t chasing a high. I was chasing silence.
The Quiet Slide Into Addiction
Addiction doesn’t always look like rock bottom. Sometimes it looks like success with an asterisk. A job with excuses. Friendships with distance. A life that looks fine from the outside—but feels like rot from within.
I kept functioning. Until I couldn’t.
I lost time. My memory turned slippery. My body stopped bouncing back. And still, I told myself it was “just anxiety.” Because I didn’t want to face what was really happening.
The truth was this: I wasn’t just anxious. I was addicted. And I was scared of what that meant.
When the Diagnosis Finally Landed
It was a therapist—kind, clear-eyed, no judgment—who named it.
“You’re dealing with substance use disorder and anxiety,” she said. “You need help for both.”
I wanted to run. But I didn’t. Because deep down, I knew she was right.
She referred me to a dual diagnosis treatment program at Evoke Wellness Ohio. I made the call. Shaky. Humiliating. Weirdly freeing.
It wasn’t just about detox. It was about rebuilding—with honesty this time.
Dual Diagnosis Treatment Didn’t Shame Me—It Understood Me
What surprised me most? No one at Evoke Wellness treated me like a fraud. No one rolled their eyes when I said, “I’m anxious but scared of medication.” They’d heard it before. They knew what I meant.
They didn’t strip everything away and tell me to start from zero. They helped me untangle the real from the reflex:
- What was anxiety?
- What was addiction?
- What was just trauma calling the shots?
I wasn’t “too complicated.” I was finally in a place built for people like me.
Medication Isn’t the Villain—Avoidance Is
Let me be real: I was terrified of medication. After what happened with Xanax, how could I not be?
But through medical supervision, psychiatric support, and time—I found a new relationship with meds. I wasn’t handed a pill and told “good luck.” I was monitored, supported, adjusted.
I realized: It wasn’t medication that almost destroyed me. It was secrecy. Isolation. Self-managing what I didn’t understand.
In dual diagnosis care, I wasn’t numbed. I was regulated. I was clear. I was present.
What Recovery Actually Looked Like (Spoiler: Not Pretty)
There’s no montage here. No epiphany set to inspirational music.
Recovery was messy. Slow. Some days I wanted to run back to the silence of sedation. Some days I cried in group and said things I didn’t know I still carried.
But healing looked like:
- Learning to sit with panic without fixing it
- Saying “I’m scared” without apologizing
- Taking meds without shame
- Eating. Sleeping. Laughing again.
No shortcuts. No hero moment. Just one honest day stacked on another.
I’m Still Anxious—But I’m Not Addicted to Disappearing Anymore
I still deal with anxiety. It didn’t evaporate in treatment. But now I have tools. I have people. I have perspective.
I don’t need pills to not fall apart. I don’t need to hide behind “I’m just tired” or “I’ve just been busy.”
I don’t have to disappear to survive.
Frequently Asked Questions About Dual Diagnosis Treatment
What is a dual diagnosis treatment program?
A dual diagnosis program treats both mental health issues (like anxiety, depression, PTSD) and substance use disorders at the same time. It’s essential for people whose addiction is closely tied to their mental health.
Can I take anxiety medication in recovery?
Yes—with the right oversight. Many people in recovery use non-addictive medications or structured psychiatric support to manage anxiety. At Evoke Wellness Ohio, medication is part of a personalized, safety-focused treatment plan.
How do I know if I need dual diagnosis care?
If your anxiety led you to misuse substances—or if your use makes your mental health worse—dual diagnosis care might be right for you. It’s not about labels. It’s about healing what’s underneath and on the surface.
Is it too late for me to get help?
No. If you’re still breathing, you still have time. You don’t need to crash harder or hurt more to deserve help. You just need to ask.
Still telling yourself “It’s just anxiety”? You don’t have to anymore.
Call (866) 430-9267 or visit Contact Us to learn how we help people in Hilliard find healing that actually fits. You’re not too late. You’re just in the middle—and we’ll meet you there.
